Feels just right

What a fantastic day! Ya I wasted a bit of time talking with my co-workers... we all do that. I was able to work on my queue and get it in a bit better shape. I feel as though I just MIGHT get caught up.

I had a date tonight. Oh wow! I met him last night for coffee at Calypso. He was a total gentleman. He has a mellow tone. He has beautiful eyes. I dare say his eyesight might be a bit worse than mine. He has an Irish chin with a dimple. When he walked to his car, he smiled at me and he has dimples in his cheeks. YES! <3

He has a german jaw line.

He pulls me closer to him when a car was whizzing by. He wanted to make sure I was safe. Sigh. He has incredibly strong arms. Oh how I have longed for a tight embrace. His filled that desire.  He let me go. Then another car goes by... He holds me close again. When the third car went by, I started to figure his plan. So I didn't go too far from him.

He smells so clean. He has a very handsome face. I am trying to pinpoint some of the origins but I am having a hard time. It could be due to the fact that I am exhausted. We shall see what the future holds.

So he positions me right in front of him. I just know he is going to kiss me. Do I want him too?

Yes!

He pulls me closer when another car drives by and says I don't think I am going to let you back away this time. He voice was low, smooth... a slight excited shiver goes through me.

He leans in for the kiss and I tell him I really like him.

WHAT A KISS! He is confident, a tad agressive, definitely possessive (in a good way). OH so yum. He put his hand on the base of my neck and holds me close. He teases me just right. This is SO nice.

He backs off a little bit. He asks me questions. He likes to be in control. Yet... I can sense something else to him

Back into the kissing. I put my hands on his back and start to rub a little where his shoulder blades are. He smells SO clean. His kisses make me feel accepted and wanted. It isn't like I am a piece of meat. I haven't put in a whole lot of effort to kiss him back. I am responding but not like I want too.

Comfort

I can still smell him in my hair. The spicy musk and clean.

Closing my eyes, I can feel him running his fingers through my hair. The strength in his hands when he rubs my back. 

I love his touch when he softly strokes my cheek.

The small sounds of pleasure he makes when I kiss his jaw-line by his ear. 

I take his scent in.

He touches my forehead with his... I sense a longing. Not just the chemistry, but the companionship. He attempts to hide that side. But it's too late, I already saw it.

He pulls my face to him and bites my lip. I can feel his heartbeat.  He takes command of me. All I can think is how much I want him.

He adjusts me so I'm more comfortable. I can feel him through my jeans.

The desire is almost tangible. He gets harder when I inhaled audibly.  My heart beat faster.

I want to unbutton his jeans, but I know I can't. My fingers skim the top of his jeans. I feel him suck his tummy in. He growls in my ear.

Tempting!  I want totouch him, but I stop myself.

Not like this.

Am I as stupid as my dad says I am?

I thought things would be finally different. I thought when I got married, I could stop looking for somewhere else to live. I thought someone wants me so I can stop being afraid.... Ya. Right.

Every time I met a guy, same story. Same thought process. I thought things would be better. Every time, I start over. Every time, I feel stupid. And I wonder if my dad was right. I have nothing to offer anyone.

One pastor told me I would never make it as a leader. What he right?

I feel stupid. I wonder if my dad was right. I will never amount to anything.